I KNOW we’ve had a lot of discussion on potholes recently, but I never really noticed the extent of the problem until I hit one in my truck.

I have a Toyota pick-up.

It’s supposed to be a go anywhere-get anywhere kind of vehicle but I was thrown out of my seat from the one I hit.

Obviously this encouraged me to take a closer look at the road surfaces on which I was driving.

There are some corking potholes the size of which I never imagined.

Where have they all come from?

I don’t recall encountering so many potholes since I was bounced around China on a coach trip.

We can’t keep blaming it on ‘we had a bad winter’ all the way through summer until another ‘bad winter’ comes whistling through the door.

Maybe there is a policy going on here of which I am unaware?

You don’t suppose it’s Cheshire East’s answer to the homeless problem do you?

Some kind of ‘Potholes for All’ policy.

Maybe Crime Commissioner David Keane plans to secrete pop-up, life size images of himself in potholes across the county thus saving him travelling around in pursuit of photo opportunities.

If you think about it it makes perfect sense to ensure he has an image of himself ready to pop up at a moment’s notice should the opportunity occur.

Yes OK, I’m being facetious.

But what about cyclists?

Cheshire East has already switched off the street lights.

These poor souls peddling home in the dark could hit a pothole and vanish for good.

Cheshire would become the Bermuda Triangle for cyclists with scientists arriving from around the world to solve the mystery.

And you know who’s going to pop up when film crews arrive don’t you?

A BREAKFAST TO DIE FOR

I’ve been out and about quite a bit recently and eating on the hoof.

It’s been a real education.

I was visiting a family at their wits end with the behaviour of their large unruly dog this morning.

After two hours of walking and wrestling I was ready to have breakfast.

My client suggested a local deli that offered ‘wonderful’ food all made on the premises.

I was too hungry to shop around and made my way directly to this ‘eco’ diner, which had a number of whole food suggestions.

(None of them was whole sausages or whole pancakes.) Apparently all their ingredients were from a ‘sustainable’ source.

Just how ‘sustainable’ they were going to be for me after grappling with a mad dog all morning was debatable.

The menu which appeared to be written on parchment by a spider proved impossible to read, necessitating translation by the counter staff.

“We have avocado on wholemeal toast,” said the young lady regarding me with some suspicion.

“Baked avocado wedges, plus avocado baked eggs.”

“Do you have anything a little less avocadie?” I tentatively asked.

“We have a tofu salad.”

It was obvious there wasn’t going to be a meeting of minds here.

“Is there a problem?” asked another assistant.

“Would you have bacon by any chance?”

“We have home baked caissons which you can take away,” said a male voice from behind the counter.

“Yes, that will do perfectly,” I lied.

After a hasty exit I nipped into Sainsbury’s for a bacon bap.

Lovely.

Since when did the simple avocado rise to such dietary prominence?

KNIFE CRIME IS A WAKE-UP CALL FOR US ALL

ou can hardly pick up a newspaper, listen to the radio or watch TV without learning about another horrific knife attack.

It seems to have replaced gun crime on our streets.

Obviously guns are a lot harder to obtain than knives and carry heavy prison sentences for illegal possession.

A selection of lethal knives can be found in the kitchen of most homes.

It’s easy for those looking for trouble to acquire a knife.

More importantly it’s seen as ‘cool’ to carry a knife and kids like to be ‘cool’.

The drug culture has violence at its core and dealers who don’t have guns carry knives.

With so many knives on the street it’s obvious why related incidents are on the increase.

In certain gangs, knifing a complete stranger is a right of passage.

These ‘tough-guy’ stories go around social media and kids who have no intention of using them carry knives to appear ‘cool’ to their own peer group.

The fact that this alone may make them a target does not enter their heads unfortunately until it’s too late.

We need to make carrying knives ‘uncool’ and the sentencing for knife crime more significant.

Too many kids are dying while we dally.

By Guardian columnist Vic Barlow You can contact Vic by email at vicbarlow@icloud.com.