Why anyone is surprised by the revelations of BBC1’s Watchdog undercover reporters that faecal bacteria was found in drinks served at several pub chains I know not.

How many times do customers have to clear used plates and glasses before they sit down?

I was queueing in the departure lounge of Manchester Airport recently where restaurants and cafes were strewn with dirty napkins, upended cardboard coffee cups and half eaten food.

I stood there for 40 minutes and the only people I saw clearing tables were customers.

Whatever staff they had available were clearly prioritised to maximise sales, and fill the tills.

I don’t know where hygiene came in their priority list but it didn’t seem to be in the top 10.

So you will excuse my derision at the numerous claims from the pub chains featured in the Watchdog programme that they ‘follow the highest hygiene standards’.

Apparently bacteria levels were found in ice and soda water in every chain that was visited and in some cases the bacteria level was ‘too high to count’.

As I write this article, I am in a major coffee chain with tables littered with debris and uneaten food.

I’m sure they will be cleared at some point but I shall be long gone by then.

Apart from the revelations by BBC undercover reporters, I suspect these extremely wealthy companies are only likely to sit up and take real notice when it affects their cash flow.

As consumers, we need to bypass establishments which routinely neglect to clear and clean tables in a timely manner.

We may not have the means to test for bacteria when choosing to have lunch at a pub, restaurant or café, but we can eliminate the obvious risk of dirty tables.

As the lady in my local shop says: ‘It’s not rocket surgery.’

THE EXODUS FROM TORY COUNCIL CONTINUES

Over the past two years Cheshire East Council has spent circa £1 million investigating its own officers, the majority of whom are no longer in office.

There remains four, or is it five, separate ongoing police investigations into Cheshire East?

Suffice to say the controlling Tory council has Cheshire Police loaded to the gills.

The exodus of managers they appointed has been truly amazing.

I have seen nothing like it in my 20 years of commentary.

Ian Hislop’s Private Eye has had a field-day with Cheshire East – even giving it the ‘Filthy Liars of the Year’ Award.

Not exactly great for staff moral is it?

It now appears that even Tory councillors have had enough of their own council following the resignation of Cllr Chris Andrew (Macclesfield), Cllr Martin Hardy (Broken Cross) and the recent announcement from long-standing Tory councillor Howard Murray (Poynton) that he will not stand as a Conservative at the next election.

(Both Cllrs Andrew and Hardy intend to stand as independents while Cllr Murray has yet to decide).

In a telephone interview Cllr Andrew told me he ‘disagreed with most of the decisions being made by Cheshire East Council’.

I suspect there are a good deal more Tory councillors who will cite the same reason for jumping ship in the coming months.

The exodus continues...watch this space.

THE EYES HAVE IT

People can be very odd don’t you think? Normal sensible people are, under certain conditions, capable of saying the most bizarre things.

I had a cataract operation earlier this week and it sparked some of the weirdest conversations I’ve had since a guy serving me in the chippie said I had ‘eyelashes to die for.’ (I only wanted cod and chips.) Anyhow, where were we? Oh yes my cataract op.

So I was walking out of the hospital with Mrs B when she met an old acquaintance going in.

I’m standing there with a screaming headache and a damn great patch over my eye and this nosey woman asks Mrs B: “So, what’s wrong with your husband then?”

I was dying for Mrs B to tell her I’d broke my foot but of course she said: “He’s just had a cataract operation.” “And how’s he feeling? asked Mrs Nosey, as if I wasn’t there.

“Ask him yourself,” said Mrs B, whereupon Mrs Nosey drew a ring around her own eye with her index finger and asked in a very slow and deliberate voice, “ H..o..w is y..o..u..r e..y..e n..o..w?”

To be honest I just wanted to poke her in the eye and go home.

The following day a neighbour asked me how the operation went and I said fine but I was finding it inconvenient not being allowed to drive.

“Yes, my mother had her cataracts done when she was 90 and she wasn’t allowed to drive afterwards.”

I said I was surprised she could drive at all at that age to which my neighbour replied: “She couldn’t, she never had a driving licence.”

Is there something about me that attracts strange people?

By Guardian columnist Vic Barlow

Contact Viv at vicbarlow@icloud.com or text 07590 560012.