Our house insurance will be up for renewal shortly so I decided to obtain a quote from my current provider online to enable me to compare.

It only took 20 minutes to complete the process and to my surprise my premium for next year dropped by £100.

I was about to pay for the policy there and then but decided to call the company rather than give my credit card details on line.

After listening to a recording of the Gettysburg Address, pressing button one and reading out my policy number to a Dalek I finally spoke to an agent.

He checked out my details then confirmed a completely different quote almost £200 more expensive.

Apparently I had misspelt my name in the online proposal form calling myself Viv Barlow instead of Vic.

‘That’s simply a typo that we have now corrected,” I stated.

“Yes but the computer did not recognise you as an existing customer and gave you the new customer rate,” replied the agent.

“Are you telling me that if I was a new customer my premium would be £200 cheaper?’ “Yes, but you’re not a new customer are you?”

“No and I won’t be any kind of customer next year. Goodbye.”

“Where are you going?”

“To see a Meerkat.”

Simples.

By columnist Vic Barlow