Bev's green with envy!

9:00am Thursday 28th September 2006

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JEALOUSY and bitterness were the order of the day down at The Rovers on Monday as World's Worst Mother Bev showed her true colours.

You may think she was genuinely concerned about Shelley's future as the mother of Charlie's child, but don't be fooled! She's green with envy because she wanted the burly builder for her own (Coronation Street).

After ranting about the daunting prospect of son of Charlie growing up like his father (er, bring it on please!) she turned spiteful and screamed like a witch: Have a drink. Get drunk. Get more drunk than you've ever been in your life. Drunker than you were the night it happened! Then in the morning, make a call and flush that bastard out of you life forever!

Nice.

Unsurprisingly, Shelley scarpered, and a sozzled Bev fled round to Deirdre's to blab all about the pregnancy. She pretended to have forgotten that Deirdre's daughter, Tracy, was Charlie's new bird, but I suspect it was all part of her scheme.

With a wife like that on the cards, it's no wonder that poor old Fred is set to drop dead on his wedding day.

Over in Eastenders, Sean Slater was parading around in only a towel, which was light relief from the action over at Chez Fox where the guy from Press Gang, who has sadly turned into an alcoholic, turned up to kidnap his daughter, though why he can be bothered is beyond me.

If there is one soap child who is clearly backwards in learning the lessons of cause and effect, it is the annoyingly named Squiggle. Watching her mother beaten black and blue by loser Owen still didn't teach her that he is not to be trifled with, but she just keeps going back for more.

Well, Squiggle, you deserve all you get this week.

Finally, I would like to commend Cain Dingle for giving Sadie her comeuppance and, more importantly, transforming into a dashing hunk for the final 10 minutes of his time on Emmerdale.

Isn't it amazing what getting rid of a bowl cut can do for a man?